You know, I use to be funny…like really funny. I remember writing letters to my friends and just laughing my head off at my own witty humor. Somewhere along the road I got dull and predictable. Sometimes I read my blog posts and think, “People are going to die of boredom reading this.” There are a few moments where my old self kicks in again – but those are few and far between. But today my friends, today you are in for a real treat. And I owe it all to my fine, sophisticated, classy self. Ok, this is where the humor kicks in because I am not classy…and it shows.
Last night for our anniversary, Austin and I went to Ruth’s Chris steakhouse in Park City. As I was looking online to see what I wanted to get (yeah, I do this now because otherwise I have an internal battle with myself at the restaurant deciding what I want to eat. Call me extremely indecisive). Anyway, I noticed that they didn't list how much their food was – big indicator that it’s going to be pricey :)
We get there a little early, which I’m grateful for because I have to pee like a racehorse (can you see the classiness oozing off me?). As I went to wash my hands, I notice that there are no paper towels or the ever so lovely jet engine sounding hand dryers. My eyes finally rest on this dainty box with rolled up wash clothes inside. Wow. Never been in that fancy of a crapper before.
Anyway, we sit down to dinner and they give us the menu. Ruth’s Chris is one of those places where you buy everything separately. Your $50 steak doesn’t include you choice of 2 sides – you just buy each individual item. We had seen a sign in the elevator that said to ask about their summer special – a 3 course meal for 2 for $89. We asked to see that menu and the waiter never came back with it. He probably figured we were cheap skates or something (break out the crayons and coloring page for those two). All I know is that a different waiter came to wait on us from then on(which was fine by me because I liked him better). We ended up just ordering from the regular menu. I got the NY Strip with crab meat, asparagus, and béarnaise sauce on top with a side of fancy fries and a cherry lemonade. After the waiter left, this other guy came with a tray that had 2 big bottles on it. He asked us if we would like either a Pellegrino, I forgot the name of the other bottle, or ice water. Now I had heard of Pellegrino before, but I don't know if I ever knew what it was. I just stared at the guy because I was trying to figure out if he was offering us liquor or something, but Austin saved the day by saying we would like some Pellegrino. Oh – so it’s not liquor. Well I looked at my fancy water that just came out of a fancy bottle and took a big swig of it to see if it re
ally tasted any different than regular water. Umm, duh! Oh my gosh, it was the sickest thing I have ever tasted. It reminded me of the times I would be at some fast food place refilling my Sprite and getting only carbonated soda water. But then again, I guess that's what Pellegrino is. Bleck. I wanted to take the table cloth and scrub my mouth out with it. Classy, eh? Thankfully our lemonades came shortly after. We found out later that the disgusting bottle sparkling water was $7. You live and you learn…
As we waited for our food, Austin told me to try his lemonade because he thought it tasted funny. He wanted to know if it was just him or because he was drinking the Pellegrino (“You’re still drinking that!” I thought). So I took a sip and sure enough it was awful. The waiter came back a little bit later and Austin asked if he could get another drink because his tasted a little off. “Yeah,” I say, “it tastes rancid.” Did I just say rancid? I guess I did.
I told Austin later how I felt hickish in this place. I mean come on, I put my elbows on the table, I think the concept of putting a napkin on your lap is weird (it has food on it!) and I had to constantly resist the urge to lick my fingers. Plus I used my steak knife to butter my bread (there’s like 2 of everything on either side of my plate, I got confused. Who needs more than one fork anyway???). Austin told me (referring to my comment about the drink) that I should have told the waiter the drink tasted like a squirrel pooped in it. Hee hee. We would have been thrown out for sure!
Our food arrived later, and I must say it was delicious. Probably some of the best steak I have ever eaten. I was so stuffed by the time we were done, but I had made up my mind earlier to get dessert. I’m glad I did because since it was our anniversary, the dessert was free. Of course I got the dessert with the most chocolate in it. When the waiter came with our desserts, I noticed he had a lighter. For a split second I thought he was going to set our desserts on fire (isn’t that what they do in fancy restaurants?) but he just lit a candle 
that was on both of our plates. I loved it. Just that small amount of light flickering on my plate was the perfect atmosphere for eating my dessert. Granted, I almost caught my wrist on fire because I forget about the dang thing 2 seconds after he set my plate in front of me, but i loved it just the same :)
As we left the restaurant, I had to just smile as I held hands with my sweet husband. Even though I am the most unsophisticated gal around, Austin still loves me and it’s fun that we can just laugh at all the dumb things I do. I had such a great time with him and I look forward to our camping trip in the Uintas this weekend. Just the two of us….
Austin trying his sophisticated look
